Forgiveness
by SabaceanBabe
Summary: Determined to say what she had to say so she could move on, Sharon stepped from the Raider’s ramp…


**Forgiveness**

Rating: PG

Word count: 1,200+

Spoilers: through 2.20, vague spoilery speculation for s3

Characters: Lee, Boomer

Author's note: This was written for koalathebear, who wanted a conversation between Apollo and Boomer. Happy birthday, Koala! And thank you to repr0b8 for the beta.

-------------------------------

"Lee!" Sharon caught sight of him as he passed the open rear hatch of the Heavy Raider, looking grim and tired and years older than when she had last seen him. She quickly unbuckled her flight restraints and sprang from the seat. "Apollo, wait!"

Wincing from the pain in her side, she ran down the ramp, but Sharon's own injury was unimportant – it would heal, if she gave it the chance, if _she_ was given that chance. The sight of Lee Adama, though, burst something open inside her and she _had_ to talk to him.

He stopped near the Raptor Helo had flown and his glance rested almost furtively on Kara as she helped her badly injured husband from Helo's bird. His gaze slid quickly away, though, and he searched the faces of the people in the _Pegasus'_ main hangar, most sweaty and dirty, some blood-streaked, but all of them showing varying degrees of stunned disbelief. Lee didn't seem to realize who had called his name, hadn't noticed her yet, and Sharon suddenly felt more than a little apprehensive of what his reaction to her might be. The last time she recalled seeing Lee, his hands had been pressed with all his strength against the wounds in his father's chest, wounds that she had caused. She still heard him scream in her dreams.

Determined to say what she had to say so she could move on, Sharon stepped from the Raider's ramp onto the deck and raised a hand. "Lee!" She needed to see this through, to try to make some kind of amends with this man who had been her friend. She had destroyed that fledgling relationship through no choice of her own. Her hand dropped to her side, suddenly heavy, as though she still held the gun.

Lee finally noticed her, his expression unreadable as he walked slowly toward her. As he drew closer, his eyes narrowed and he stared at her intently, his gaze traveling from her face to her hands – empty and loose at her sides – to her boots, taking in the civilian clothes she wore before returning to her face, just as sweaty and dirty as everyone else's.

He stopped a couple of meters from where she stood. "Boomer." The word was a simple confirmation that he recognized her, nothing more.

Since he had chosen to use her call sign – well, what had been her call sign, when she'd had a right to it – she followed his lead. A wry, bitter smile ghosted across her face. "Apollo." Nervous, she bit at her lower lip.

He nodded toward her ship. "I suppose thanks are in order for getting so many of our peop—" He stopped, regrouped. "…so many of these people off the surface."

"Apollo, I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I… We just wanted the killing to stop." She thought of how a similar conversation had gone with Helo and closed her eyes, wondering if the pain of seeing the people she had known and loved _before_ would ever go away. "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that, to apologize… well, for everything." Her eyes danced away from his too-intense scrutiny, focused on a spot on the deck in the space between them. "Your father…"

"My father…" Something in his voice made her look up again. His expression was still wary, but not quite so hard. "My father forgave you a long time ago."

A wave of relief flowed through her and her knees felt weak. "That's good to know." She blinked back the tears that threatened and met Lee's eyes again. "What about you, Apollo?"

"What about me?" There was no hostility in his tone, his face, but neither was there any friendliness.

"Have you forgiven me? _Can_ you?" He didn't answer right away and she began to feel nervous again. She looked away.

Activity continued to swirl around them as the injured were taken away for medical attention, the deck crew did what was needed to get the Raptors and Vipers into dock, and everyone else tried to stay out of the way. She saw Helo and Racetrack leave their Raptor and part ways, she running toward the hatch, he looking over the heads of the refugees, searching. He must have found what he sought, abruptly pushing his way past a knot of humanity toward another Raptor, toward another copy of herself. Sharon closed her eyes, not wanting to see more. And still Lee said nothing.

"I guess I have my answer," she said, trying to keep the hurt from her voice. Sharon turned, the abrupt movement pulling at the bullet wound in her side and she winced. She had one foot on the ramp when Lee's hand on her arm stopped her.

"Sharon, wait." She took a deep breath, concentrated on the air expanding her lungs, then swung about to face him again as his hand dropped away from her arm. He frowned. "I… don't know what to say to you." He shook his head and the frown faded. "You shot my father." She couldn't help but wince. "You caused a lot of damage to the fleet with just that one act."

"I know. I—"

He cut her off with a raised hand. "But you also found the water we needed…"

Sharon felt cold, wrapped her arms around herself. "I caused the need for it."

A half smile touched his lips and it wasn't at all an expression of amusement. "I know that. Yet you still did what you could to make up for it. Just as you destroyed a basestar. And now here you are," he gestured to the hangar, the people there, his arms wide, "with a load of refugees from New Caprica." His arms dropped back to his side and he cocked his head. "I guess what I'm saying is yes, I can forgive you, because I don't think you could help the things you did. I can't trust you, Sharon, but I can forgive you."

Suddenly light, with more hope than she'd felt in forever, Sharon smiled at him and turned, started back up the ramp.

"What're you doing?"

She turned but continued up the ramp, walking backwards. His frown was back. "I'm leaving. You have to jump out of here."

"You're not coming with us."

His words were a flat statement of fact, but she answered the implied question. "No. I don't belong here anymore. I denied it for so long, but I _am_ a Cylon, and I can do more good with them than I can with you."

Lee opened his mouth to say something else, but then shook his head instead and Sharon knew that he had decided against trying to convince her to stay.

"Lee, I'm sorry about New Caprica, the things that happened there, but hopefully I've learned from my mistakes. Hopefully, I can truly make my people change their thinking, someday. But I can't do that if I'm not with them."

He nodded. "I understand." Straightening, Lee raised his arm in a precision salute. "Good hunting." And then he turned and walked away, shouting, "Prepare for jump as soon as Boomer's away."

Sharon sealed off the Raider and headed to the front of the ship, for the first time able to look forward, rather than back.


End file.
